Making Christmas Work: Helpful Tips for Separated Parents

It is estimated that 1 in 3 families in the UK are a blended family, also known as a step family and whilst Christmas is often portrayed as a magical time of the year when families spend time together, for blended families, Christmas time can also bring about conflict and unique challenges.

The earlier you can agree the child arrangements over Christmas the better. Keeping the tone of discussions neutral and focused on the children and reaching a solution will help you to reach an agreement.

There are several options for the children to enjoy Christmas with both parents and usually include:

• Alternating Christmas Day and other keys days such as boxing Day or New Year each year
• Splitting Christmas Day: Christmas Eve to Noon on Christmas Day, and Noon on Christmas Day to Boxing Day
• One parent has Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and the other New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day
• Sharing the celebration (not suitable for high conflict situations)

When there is no Child Arrangements Order in place: If you reach an agreement, it may help to record the agreement in writing so there can be no misunderstanding or confusion. If you don’t have a Court Order and are unable to agree the arrangements directly then you may wish to try mediation. However, if mediation is not suitable or is unlikely to be effective you have the option of making an application to Court for a Child Arrangements Order. You can ask for:

• Interim contact (short-term arrangements while the case is ongoing)
• Specific holiday contact, including Christmas
• A longer-term structured parenting plan

There is usually a requirement to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting before making the application however, if the matter is urgent i.e. Christmas is approaching, you can make an urgent application to Court requesting an urgent hearing and the Court may fast track an interim contact schedule and/or set immediate holiday contact arrangements. Courts generally expect children to spend meaningful time with both parents, unless there is a safeguarding risk.

When there is a Child Arrangements Order in place: If your ex is refusing contact where these is an order in place without a valid reason, they are likely to be breaching the order. A valid reason will usually surround safeguarding or safety issues. The Court will consider evidence of this but one party cannot simply block contact without justification.
In these circumstances you can apply for Enforcement of a Child Arrangements Order. The Court may:

• Order make-up Christmas contact
• Change the arrangement going forward
• Issue a warning notice
• In serious cases, impose fines or unpaid work requirements

Courts generally expect children to spend meaningful time with both parents, unless there is a safeguarding risk. Courts focus on the child’s best interests, which nearly always include: maintaining relationships with both parents, stable, predictable routines and fair division of holidays. Unless there’s a demonstrable safeguarding concern, blocking Christmas contact is unlikely to be seen favourably.

If you would like to discuss with any of our family team please contact our children experts Chloe Langdon or Robyn Mackay on 020 8949 9500.